Kombucha... Goodbye My Friend.

I could take this space to complain about Lindsay Lohan’s alcohol violation and its alleged role in pulling my favorite tea off of shelves, but the owner of the company and Lindsay herself are denying that drinking Kombucha, which has trace amounts of alcohol, contributed to this recall.

I discovered Kombucha about a year ago, interested in the apparent health benefits that the label offered. This fermented tea- which first appeared in Russia in the 19th century- contains a fair amount of yeast and bacteria, and sometimes forms a semi solid fungal mass in the beverage. Also known as “mushroom tea” because of the presence of this floating fungus, Kombucha was offered in many flavors such as mango, grape, cranberry, and ginger. I will admit that the first time I drank Kombucha I was driving, and after consuming half of the bottle, my muscles started feeling that familiar numbing effect that I get when I start drinking a cocktail. A closer look at the label informed me that there are trace amounts of alcohol in the beverage. I wondered if I could get a DUI or an open container citation for drinking it while driving. The tea was stored with the juices and sodas at AJ’s, the upscale market where I purchased it, so surely it isn’t really considered alcoholic. But that was a year ago, and nothing has been reported about this new tea on the market and the possibility of intoxicating an unsuspecting thirsty person.

Fast forward to June 2010. Lindsay Lohan is forced to wear an alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet, known as a SCRAM device, and is photographed all over Los Angeles drinking Kombucha. The tabloids have a field day accusing her of guzzling this tea because it has trace amounts of alcohol and could help an alcoholic with detoxing withdrawals. When Lindsay’s SCRAM was activated by some vodka that she just couldn’t keep her hands off of at a party after the MTV Movie Awards, people speculated that she would blame it on the fermented tea. But she didn’t. And it turns out she really did drink vodka that night. So why all of the hype about Kombucha and its alcohol content? People simply are speculating that Lindsay was drinking it for its slight alcohol content… which has led to an investigation and the forced recall of the product.

Those of us who enjoyed it before this Lohan drama knew that it sometimes made us sleepy or silly. But now that a person with an alleged chemical dependency problem is all over the news with our tea, it is being taken away from us. And so, although Lindsay didn’t blame Kombucha for her alcohol violation, she inadvertently brought the issue of the tea’s alcohol content to the media’s awareness. Therefore, I still blame her. I also still blame her for f-ing up The Parent Trap… Hayley Mills’ classic role deserved better than what Lohan did to it, but that is a discussion for another day.