Free Slurpees! No Way? Yes Way!

Everyone's favorite convenience store, 7- Eleven, is celebrating the day (July 11th, i.e. 7/11) by giving away free Slurpees. To further tribute its name, the size chosen for these free- no purchase necessary- Slurpees is, you guessed it, 7.11 ounces. How clever. The no purchase necessary part is what really surprises me. I actually want to drive by my nearest 7-11 and see if there are long lines; it is over 100 degrees Fahrenheit here today and I'm sure there are many people who would love a free icy beverage.

This offer is going on until 10 pm tonight, wherever 7-11 exists. If you don't know where your nearest 7-11 is, use this store locator to find it. Good luck, and happy hydrating!

San Francisco Bans Soda, And Replaces It With Soy Milk

When I first read that all soda and sugary juice- type drinks have been banned from San Francisco vending machines located on city property, I was not surprised. I live in a red state where steak houses and SUVs are plentiful, so anytime that I visit the San Francisco Bay area I take notice of all of the intense differences between Northern California and the state that I live in. San Francisco has mandatory composting, but none of my friends or family even recycles where I live. San Francisco roads are deluged with hybrid vehicles, but the roads of my state are crammed with gas- guzzling trucks and SUVs. Basically, anytime I hear of something that concerns the environment or healthy eating, I am not surprised if it came out of San Francisco.

The majority of people in my state would find this change insanely ridiculous, and as it turns out, 42% of San Franciscans are "furious" that the city will no longer make sugar- filled beverages available on city property. I am sure that many of those people are pleased to have access to soy milk and rice milk in vending machines, so the complaint does not stem from the product replacing the sugar. It seems to me that in addition to worrying about saving the world and taking care of their bodies, the hippie spirit of San Franciscans also demands freedom of choice and resists being controlled by any sort of government embargo.

So, way to go City of San Francisco! By doing something you thought most San Franciscans would support in terms of healthfulness, you inadvertently aggravated them and smothered their hippie spirit by taking away their freedom of choice!

They were probably all bringing their own containers of soy milk with them whenever they visited city property, anyway.

Candwich? A Canned Sandwich? Please, no.

In our current times, some people are wondering a little bit about the world situation and whether or not 2012 might change the world as we know it. For those who hold stock in some of the theories floating around, stock piling non- perishable goods is going to be an essential part of the preparation for whatever it is that we might be facing. It will be nice to have a wide variety of foods to put away, and I am sure that new ideas are popping up all of the time.

Canned food is great. It can be stored for years without the consumer worrying about it perishing, and it stacks really efficiently. Soups, fruits, vegetables, juice, and soda are some of the delicacies that enjoy being packaged and stored in metal cans, but now we have another meal to enjoy out of metal: bbq chicken sandwiches. Yes, you read that correctly. In fact, in addition to the bbq chicken sandwiches in a can, you can also get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a can with your choice of either strawberry or grape jelly. Yes, I am serious.

So far, there are very few details known about what this is going to actually be like; is it going to be already assembled inside of the can? Won't the moisture of the sandwich filling make the bread completely mushy? What kind of preservation chemicals will be used? Is it going to be loosely flopping around? Or will it be tightly packed and sort of pop out when the can is opened in the same way those biscuit dough cans do?

According to the front of the can, there is also going to be a surprise toy inside. Ahhhhh. Another example of using toys to lure kids into the world of laziness and junk food consumption. Well, kids and college students.

I am morbidly interested in this, and like the grilled cheese/ cheeseburger bastard offspring mentioned a few days ago, I would probably try it if I had the opportunity. I would pray, however, that no one in my house liked it so I would never have to buy it again and it would never be in my home again. Because really, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is the easiest meal in the world to make, and if someone is too lazy to make one, they don't deserve one. I'll stick to canned green beans and peaches in my emergency survival kit, thank you.

Lindsay Lohan Sentenced to 90 days in Jail

Just 2 questions... can we have our Kombucha back now? And what on earth are we going to do with all of that extra vodka sitting on shelves?